It was somewhat begrudgingly that Celeste pulled on her uniform the next morning. She neatened it up a little before making her way to the barracks. The cold morning air reminded her of Tricapon. She had gotten used to the cold back that, but it didn't make it pleasant.
She waited in the entrance of the barracks for a few minutes before sergeant-major Alfonso appeared. He half-heartedly saluted, sipping something from a mug.
“Captain. Thank you for agreeing to help us out.”
“I'm not doing this to help you,” She stated.
“Oh? Care explaining why you're bothering then?” He raised an eyebrow at her.
She paused. She didn't want to tell him the truth here. “It's my duty. As a soldier. To help.”
He shrugged, strolling over to the door and motioning for her to follow. They headed outside just as another drift of snow blew through the valley. Shivering, Alfonso pulled his cloak tighter around himself, glancing over at her. “Are you not cold in just a basic uniform?”
“I've got used to the cold.”
“Okay,” He said. The rolling of his eyes was not lost on her. “I'll take you to the depot, I don't know what you'll want to do to investigate this.”
“What makes you believe it's a wizard responsible for this?” She asked. She was very worried she was going to discover she was wasting her time with this.
“Well, our supplies have been going missing. It started a couple of weeks back. We assumed it was just an error in stock taking at first. But now whole crates of food are vanishing.”
“Vanishing?”
“We can't figure out how the thief is getting inside. We've seen no signs of forced entry. The supplies are just missing in between inspections.”
“No hidden tunnels or anything like that? Hidden doors in the roof or something?” She was really just thinking of the most ridiculous ways someone might get in.
“We checked for that.”
“Is there any way they could get in via the front door?”
“The guards used to change by returning to the barracks and sending out another pair. We have changed that since we noticed the theft, but more supplies have since gone missing.”
Celeste nodded as she looked over the facts. Either someone was able to move through walls, or the guards were lying. That seemed to her the only options.
They reached the depot. As she looked at it closer, Celeste was certain it wasn't built to be one. It reminded her of the mission back home. The soldiers by the door saluted, shivering slightly. Alfonso nodded to them before explaining what Celeste was there to do. He gave her a nod and left her to it.
The guards happily showed her into the building so she could look around. It wasn't much warmer inside. They stood by the door, trying to warm themselves as she inspected the stacks of crates. Most of the already narrow room was taken up with them, leaving only small alleys to walk through. The building was made up of one large room and a smaller back room, presumably an office for whatever this building had been prior to becoming an army depot.
In this room, she found something that made her sigh.
“Where does this door lead?” She called to the guards.
One of them made his way to her. He glanced at it and shrugged. “I don't know. It was there when we took the place over.”
“I guessed that much,” She said, inspected it. She tapped the wood. It sounded like a very heavy door.
“We've never got it open to be sure.”
“You've not got a key for it?”
“No. It just won't open.”
She held out her hand and the guard deposited the key in her hand. She slipped it into the lock and twisted it, hearing the mechanism click. “Sounds functional to me.”
“Yeah but the handle won't-”
She shoved the handle down with all her force and it released, letting the door swing towards her. She glanced out into the alley behind the building. It looked like an unassuming back street. She leant back in with a look at the guard.
“It never opened for any of us,” He said sheepishly.
She pushed the door shut and motioned him over. “Give it a try now.” He did, to no effect. “So, it's jammed and only a wizard is strong enough to open it. How many keys are there for this door?”
“It's the same as the front door so...Three. One for each guard on duty and then the sergeant-major has one.”
She nodded, thinking for a moment. She locked the door again and tried forcing it open. It didn't budge now. They had said there had been no forced entry. She might as well take a risk on this.
“I'm going to go get the key from the sergeant-major. And I will keep a hold of this one.” She headed back into the main room and addressed the other guard. “Show me your key.” He handed it to her, and she held it up to examine it for a moment before putting it back in his hand. “I need you to protect this key with your life, do you understand me? If this key is lost or stolen on your watch, you had better hope that the person responsible kills you because otherwise, I will.”
The guard swallowed heavily as she placed the key into his trembling hand. She felt terrible to do this to the young man, but it was the only way to be certain the key couldn't be stolen. Assuming she was correct, of course.
With the other two keys safely tucked into her uniform, Celeste found a tower with a good view of the square. She hopped up there and settled in, watching the guards intently. There was a chance the thief had made a copy of the key but doing that might have spooked the military enough to have the locks changed. It was also possible that this wizard was someone she'd never met before and really could just move through walls.
As she sat watched, peering at the citizens moving through the square, she began to worry she was wrong after all. All of her doubts began to creep in. It was in the mid-afternoon, the orange sun was bathing the city, when someone caught her eye. They were dressed in a cloak, which wasn't so odd given the cold, but the hood was pulled up, covering their face.
Celeste watched the figure casually leant against a shopfront with a clear view of the depot. After a few minutes of watching, they raised their hand and slowly slipped off their glove. Her hand sparkled in the sunlight in a way Celeste recognised in a heartbeat. She closed it into a fist and when she opened it again, a coin fell out, clattering to the ground. She stooped to pick it up, no one having noticed the odd behaviour. She tried again, this time a whole handful of coins fell to the ground.
People looked over to the cloaked wizard at this. She was drawing too much attention. She stood up straight, preparing to make an exit. Celeste got up, leaping from the tower onto a rooftop overlooking the square. She called down to the guards.
“Get after her!” She pointed to where the wizard was leaving the square. She looked back before starting to run. The guards took off after her and Celeste joining them, pursuing from the rooftops.
The rooftops made navigating the maze of the unfamiliar city much easier for Celeste. She watched the wizard below her move with an intimate knowledge of the city's layout. Unfortunately for her, the guards knew it just as well and managed to keep surprisingly good pace with them.
As she reached the end of a back alley, the wizard turned and reached out both hands. The guards rounded the corner, and she opened her hands and pulled back, yanking two belts into her hands and discarding them. The guards were left stumbling down the alley after her, but she was already gaining ground on them.
Celeste kept up her pursuit until they reached a large street leading onto a bridge. She stopped for a moment to check where the wizard had gone. She panicked as she noticed the wizard heading for the side of the bridge. Could she really be planning to take a plunge in the icy water?
Celeste leapt up and hurtled herself through the air, landing behind the wizard a moment before she could climb over the side of the bridge. Celeste reached out and grabbed the cloak, pulling her back towards herself. Sabina spun around, shoving Celeste's hand away.
She found herself stunned for just a moment. It wasn't surprising to see that it was Sabina here. But seeing her face was different. The other woman looked exactly the same as she had all those months ago. That lifetime ago. Her skin shimmering golden in the sunlight.
Celeste tightened her grip, she couldn't let Sabina escape her. She saw Sabina raise her hand and anticipated her next move. Everything on her was of infinite value to her. If her shoes, or laces, or belt were stolen, she would stumble and Sabina would have a chance to slip away. She could let that happen.
To her surprise, as Sabina's hand opened, no coins fell out. Her confusion only lasted a moment before Sabina grabbed her shoulder and pulled her into a kiss. Celeste was not expecting that. But she couldn't resist as she felt the other woman's warm lips move against hers. She closed her eyes, relishing the moment. Like a ray of sunshine after these long months of rain.
She was caught off guard now, and Sabina used this to yank Celeste with her as she fell back into the river below. The waters only stayed liquid in this intense cold thanks to the slow movement of the river. It didn't, however, stop it from being ice cold.
Celeste's whole body braced up as she hit the water. A normal person would likely have gone into shock, but wizards were hardy enough to survive that. Still, she kicked and scrambled in the water, desperately gasping for breath. Sabina grabbed her and pulled her under the surface again. Their eyes met under the water and she obeyed, staying still and holding her breath. She heard, though very muffled, the sound of feet pounding above them. As the sound grew quieter, Sabina let them both surface.
“What did you do that for?” Celeste panted, struggling to suck air into her freezing body.
“I love having a good time,” Sabina answered, laughing as she swam to the edge of the river.
They managed to drag themselves out of the river and onto the base of the bridge. Sabina seemed alright, but Celeste felt herself violently shivering.
“How are you that cold? Are your uniforms not woollen?”
“Don't think so,” Celeste said, her teeth chattering. “Plant fibre. I think.”
“Just make some fire, warm us both us.”
“I'm on leave. I shouldn't.”
Sabina rolled her eyes. “You are always so stubbornly opposed to having a good time. You just chased me down with magic.”
Celeste relented. She thought she might freeze to death if she didn't. She threw her arms back, letting the fire ignite behind her. She leant forwards, making the fire replica lean over and help to dry her more. Soon, they were both dry and warm and they sat on the toasty stone next to one another.
“It's been a while. I can't believe you didn't write,” Sabina said with a laugh.
“Why are you stealing from military supplies?” Celeste said sharply. It sounded harsher than she had intended.
Sabina sighed, resting her head back against the rock. “You really care?”
“I was asked to find out who was stealing from us and stop them. Those supplies are needed on the front.”
“I didn't expect you to take their side.”
“I'm a captain in the army. Of course I am.”
“I saw you the other day. Trying to help the refugees. It was hopeless, of course.”
“Hopeless how?” She asked, turning her head to Sabina.
“You can't hope to feed the starving masses alone. The military has the resources to feed everyone out there. If they don't want to do it, then I will.”
“You're distributing the food among them?”
“Well of course.” Sabina laughed. “I couldn't eat all of it myself, and giving things away helps to soothe my spirit. Not that I need that as a motivator.”
“We don't have infinite food to go around. And if the army isn't fed then we can't protect this country. I don't like it but...” Celeste trailed off.
“You don't believe that. I can hear it in your voice.”
“We are protecting the country,” She said with more conviction. “If we don't win this war then the Ofprovians will wipe my people out.”
“And what about the Ofprovian civilians caught up in your war?”
Celeste sat silently, turning her head down. She didn't want to face these questions, and she didn't want to face the woman asking them. She turned as Sabina's hand rested on her face. Her careful fingers rested on her cheek while her thumb stroked along the scars on her face. Celeste felt herself turning into the hand, longing for this touch that she had missed for so long. She closed her eyes and gently kissed Sabina's palm.
“You don't look at all like I remember,” Sabina said softly. She was a kind, caring person. Playful and full of energy. Yet there was a sorrow in her voice now that Celeste would have never expected.
She slowly opened her eyes. They felt heavy as she did. She brought them up to meet Sabina's eyes. They sparkled with the same brilliance they always had.
“You should never have gone to fight this war,” Sabina said.
“I have to protect my people. I don't have a choice.”
“You could have come with me. We could have run away together. With your help, we could liberate so many more supplies. Or we could run away entirely. Go south.”
“There's war there too,” She said grimly, thinking of what she'd read in the newspapers.
“Fine. East. We could soar into the Taoan Range. Find the lost capital. Just have an adventure.”
“Could you really just leave all this behind now? You've seen this suffering, you're trying to make it right, aren't you? Could you leave others to suffer when you know you have the power to help?”
Sabina slowly retracted her hand, sighing. “It hasn't even been a year. What has happened to you?”
“War, I guess. It's not...I don't know what I imagined. I saw Melanie out there,” She added quietly.
Sabina turned to focus on her again. “She's fighting for the Ofprovians?”
“She massacred our army. Did you hear about the massive losses in the east, at the start of the war?” Sabina nodded. “That was her doing. She was so unrepentant about it.”
“That figures. She always had that cold determination. I suppose she was the only one of us capable of something like that.”
Celeste bit her lip. She struggled to find any words to respond with. “I'm in no position to judge.” She managed to croak out.
“What is it going to take to end this war?”
“It ends when we win. When our people are safe.”
“You think the Ofprovians are going to back down? Their Emperor Lanius doesn't care how many of his citizens are killed. They say he's got more soldiers coming from the east, he'll care even less about throwing their lives at you. They have a winning condition. When they can swarm Laociena with missionaries. But how are you going to win? You can't beat them on manpower, or weaponry.”
“We'll take their capital,” Celeste said simply, thinking of plans Tosetti had once suggested to her.
“How?” Sabina cried out. “Unless the papers are severally underestimating your army's position, which I doubt, you've still got two mountain ranges between you and that city. Are you going to march the army there yourself?”
“We will make it. We have to. We have one of the finest generals alive and-”
“But how many lives will that take? How many more hungry refugees will flood in to be fed by me alone?” Sabina sighed, rubbing her face. “Sorry. I haven't had anyone to talk to about this. But I've been following the war closely. As closely as I can. I have to follow it. It seems so unwinnable. And you're out there, fighting for something so impossible. I can't imagine...I don't want to imagine what you've been through...” She trailed off.
“You never wanted me to fight this war, did you? You tried to stop me back at school.”
“Of course I didn’t!” Sabina said, her head snapping up to meet Celeste's eyes. “They're using you. I don't know what their end goal is, but dear Octavius doesn't care about you, or your religion. They're happy to use you to hunt me down for feeding those they won't.”
“I understand that. But I can use them too, all this will protect my people, I know it will. And in turn, I need to protect the men out there fighting however I can.”
Sabina reached out a delicately touched the back of Celeste's head. She pulled them closer so their foreheads rested against one another. “I wish we could go back. To before all this.” Celeste's eyes stayed open ever while Sabina's closed. She could see faint tears track down her cheek. “Life's never fair but up there, I thought I might have found a place where things could be alright. The world and all its stupid problems could leave us alone.”
“We're wizards,” Celeste said quietly. “When you can live as long as we can, you'll end up seeing plenty of wars. Could you really stay away from every one of them forever?”
“The squabbles of these petty nations isn't any business of mine. Why should I be involved?”
“The people of this petty nation are mine.”
“Sense can't be talked into you, can it?” Sabina said, snorting slightly.
“Is that how you thought this would go? A few sensible words from you and I would tear off my uniform?”
“There was a time when I could have done that, wasn't there?” Sabina opened her eyes.
It felt so intimate, staring into the other woman's eyes only a few centimetres away. The world was gone. The two of them sat together, alone save for one another.
Celeste leant in to kiss Sabina again. It was slow and passionate. In her lips, she felt the longing she had experience since they'd parted. It had all ended so quickly. And now she didn't want to be parted again. Sabina returned in kind, her hands resting gently on Celeste's body, cupping her breast and hip. Celeste reached forwards and grabbed hold of Sabina's waist. She found herself gripping tighter, holding her with all her force. If she let her go now, they would drift apart.
And still, she pushed away. It took all of her strength to release her hands. She could have continued on inertia. And the Winds knew she wanted to. She wanted to be lost, just for a little bit, in the arms of her lover. To forget what the world around her was becoming. But she had responsibilities. She couldn't have what she wanted. Her duty came above that. She stood with a sigh.
“I guess that answers that,” Sabina said quietly.
“I'm sorry. I have to fight this war. There are people depending on me.”
“Fine. Here.” Sabina reached her hands up, something concealed within them. “Take this token from me. I hope it will keep you safe out there, in whatever way it can.” She opened her hands to reveal a pocket watch.
Celeste slowly picked up the watch, examining it closely. She clicked it open. It seemed to be reporting the right time. “I seem to remember you stealing this. All those years ago. It'll be of more use to you, this is incredibly valuable.”
“It was when those talks were going on. The start of this, I suppose. But you keep it, I want you to have it, I can find other ways to get what I need.” She stood and placed her hands on Celeste's, closing them around the watch. “And I want you to have something to remember me by.”
Celeste moved a hand to rest on the other woman's cheek. “Sabina, I'm never going to forget you. One day this will be over, it has to be. I will see you then.”
“I hope it is you who I see. What are you going to tell them when they ask what happened to me?” There was a small smile crossing her lips now.
Celeste shrugged. “I'll say I injured the thief, but they got away. I'm going to be leaving again in a week. After that, they can't make it my problem.”
Sabina smiled wider now. “You're picking up my good habits.”
There was a pause as they smiled at one another before Celeste turned to go. She had to go before Sabina pulled her back again.
“I love you,” Sabina said softly.
Celeste was lost for words for a moment before she finally said. “I'm sorry.” For a moment she wanted to look back. But she knew she couldn't. She wasn't strong enough. She took another step forward, out from under the shadow of the bridge, and leapt up.
That night, sleep did its best to evade her. Eventually, after tossing and turning for what may have been hours, she gave up and slowly creaked down the hallways of the inn. Wrapped in all the clothes she could wear at once, she hopped up onto the roof of the inn and sat under the pale moonlight. The night air wasn't pleasant, but it was better than failing to sleep. She half-hoped that Sabina might pass by. That this time she might give in.
You complain for being unable to work out what other people's deal is, and yet it has taken me this long to work you out.
“What do you mean?” She whispered. Her quiet words became puffs of mist around her.
You know that everything she said is true. And yet you resist. You will still go out and fight.
“Not everything.”
What is it you want, you truly want?
“To protect my people.”
I am within you. I can feel your emotions, pick them apart. That is what you feel you must do. It is your duty. If you could have anything, what would you choose?
“If you think you've worked it out, why do you want me to say it?”
Because it is a good feeling, to give into your desires.
Celeste swallowed. “I think I would go and find Sabina again. I would do what she wanted, run away from all this. I want her.” As she moved uncomfortably, she felt a piece of metal in her jacket. She reached into it, realising she'd forgotten the pocket watch in there. She flicked it open and read the time by the moonlight.
And yet, after all this time, he still holds you back.
A strong wind swept through her. Was that a message? “It's not holding me back.”
And yet it is because of him that you don't let your desires have you.
“I think...I think I owe him a debt.”
You've never articulated this before. Not even to yourself.
“You can't read my thoughts.”
True. Picking apart your emotions is much harder.
“If Alfonso hadn't died, I wouldn't have become a wizard. Wouldn't have become powerful. Gusts and Gales,” She groaned, resting her face in her hands. “I would have watched him go off to war. He was kind, and brave. He would have signed up for sure.”
Traits of the weak. He would have died in this war.
“He would have,” Celeste admitted. “There is no place for kindness in war.”
And so here you are in his place.
“He should have been in mine. He could have saved all of them given the same power.”
Now you are just making things up. He was not suited for power. I chose you. Did you know that there have been hundreds of spirits like me, spirits of shooting stars, as you call us?
“Of course, I didn't, you didn't tell me that.”
Every time the stars fall, we are born anew.
“It takes hundreds of years for a spirit to form though.”
No. It takes a large amount of emotional energy for a spirit to form. We are visible from all across your world. Even people in lands you do not know of see us, and all place their hopes and wishes on us.
“But each meteor shower is a new physical thing. And a new spirit must be born. So, you can see everyone everywhere.”
Now you are understanding.
“It's not possible I was the only person you could bind to.”
Exactly. My predecessors all could have bound to people. And yet I am the first to do so. You are unique. I saw in you potential, just as all of humanity sees potential in me.
“Is this meant to inspire me?” Celeste asked doubtfully. “I am simply reminded of how poor my luck is.”
I do not believe I truly have a point in this. You fight so you don't have to see his face in the dying. But you are only capable because he left you open to me.
“I did what I thought was right then. I ignored my own desires.”
And because you put that aside, you are strong enough to save them.
“Two of the men I was supposed to protect are dead.” She gently stroked the case of the watch as she spoke. “I won't let it happen again.”
And I will be here to help you, every step of the way.
Its words did not comfort her. She knew it was only using her. And yet still, there was some comfort in its companionship. No matter who else she lost, its voice would stay with her. And it would keep her secrets and her shame till both their dying days.